Recharge to Take Charge
By: Aisha Patterson
We're moms. We like to think our needs are important, yet we put everyone else needs in front of our own. We often take on our household's entire mental load, so the very thought of doing something for ourselves seems overwhelming. Because you know, before we're off the hook to go to girl's night, we cook the kids dinner, make sure their homework is done while breastfeeding the baby, and putting on eyeliner at the same time. It's a lot. However, not showing yourself some love ain't no good, and it leads to mommy burnout. Symptoms include: yelling at your children. Wishing it was bedtime all the time. Feeling short-tempered and having bursts of rage over small things.
This is where I talk about why you need to add some self-care into your life. Stay with me. If someone mentions self-care, you think of bath bombs and face masks; you're probably doing it wrong. A good self-care practice should be something that fills your soul. It should connect you with the part of you that's usually separate from your kids. Whenever you're done doing self-care, you should feel like you're getting closer to your best self. Don't get me wrong; if face masks and bath bombs do it for you, then, by all means, go for it. I'm just asking that you take an in-depth look within and figure out what self-care practices would make the most impact in your life, and there is a good chance bath bombs won't do it. Maybe you'll start dance classes because you feel alive when you're dancing. Perhaps you'll start going to the gym because you love your body. Perhaps you'll sign up for a triathlon because you're bored with your life and want to challenge yourself. Here are some ways to create a self-care journey that truly changes your life.
1. Identify your why. What made you decide to start a self-care journey? Are you doing this because you're sick and tired of being drained and with nothing left to give to the ones you love? Are you doing this because you want to learn to love your body for the first time in your life? Whatever the reason may be, write it down. Your why is going to help you identify what self-care practices will give you the best results.
2. Choose your practice. If your why is that you want to feel less anxious, make a list of all the things that you could do regularly that would make you feel less anxious—for example, working out, mediation, yoga, praying, therapy, etc. From there, choose whichever practice is going to help you the most. You don't have to limit yourself to one thing. Just be sure that you have the time to commit to whatever you choose.
3. Make a plan. Now that you know what you're going to do for your self-care practice. It's time to make a plan. How often do you plan to execute your self-care? Who will care for your children while you're away? If you are married or have a partner, now is a good time to talk to them about your self-care plans and enlist their support. Communicate to them why you are doing this and why it's so important to you. If you need them to be available to care for the children while you're practicing self-care, now is a good time to ask. Be clear on the days and times you'll need them so they can make themselves available. If your partner is not willing or able to help you, do not abandon the plan. It may take extra work, but you're worth it, so do what you have to do to take care of yourself. That means you may need to ask your mom or a friend to watch your kids once a week, or you may need to start waking up early.
4. Commit. Ladies, just like when you're on an airplane, and they tell you to put your mask on first…use that same energy when it comes to your self-care. Say it with me… SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH. Always remember that you will be a better person, mom, friend, and/or business owner if you put yourself first. The more you show up for yourself, the more you'll fall in love with yourself, and the easier saying yes to yourself will be. With that being said, Show up for yourself. Do this for you. Change your life. Be consistent in your efforts, and one year from now, you'll be so happy that you started.